Seniority and greatness

Marshall Goldsmith spends one chapter in his bestselling book about executive coaching "What got you here won't get you there" on the importance of listening. He rightly remarks listening is not a passive activity; on the contrary, good listeners regard it as a highly active process, one that is absolutely essential to a great conversation. Hence listening requires an amount of effort, especially when one is engaged in selling a  product, idea or service.

It is listening that builds trust; talking doesn't. There is no way of building trust quicker than to listen intently to what the other has to say. I read somewhere that the best sales people, actually 75% of the  very top, are classified as introverts on psychological tests: they talk and ask questions 30% or less of the time. They will ask engaging questions, allowing to steer and guide the conversation, giving them the opportunity to listen.

Listening also builds selfesteem, because to listen intently is to show one cares for another. Furthermore, individuals who can listen comfortably and attentively usually have high selfesteem, because they tend to be less preoccupied with their own thoughts and feelings in their interaction with others: they simply are not a quest to prove to others how good they are.

Goldsmith lists 3 traits good listeners do:

1) They listen with respect. It is the only way to learn from what the other has to say.

2) They think before speaking. What do people do when they're upset, surprised or shocked ? They talk. Telling your brain and mouth not to do something is no different than telling them to do it. Mastering this means you can listen effectively.

3) They ask themselves "if it's worth it". It forces one to consider how the other person will feel after hearing your response; which engages the listener into thinking beyond the discussion to consider how the other person regards you, what he or she will do afterwards, and how she or she will behave the next time you talk. That's a lot of consequences resulting out of if it's worth it.

After interviewing hundreds of professionals, I came to see that the truly great executives are great listeners.  The very best managers I have placed, without exception, always showed great listening skills. They listen intently and they will always tend to listen more than they will be inclined to talk. Moreover, they will always take the opportunity to ask questions.

It is their questions, much more than their answers, which will unveil the depth of their knowledge, experience, and the sophistication of their thinking. I am always surprised how some indiduals go into great lengths talking about their achievements, have nothing to ask beyond the name of our client and the package details. The great ones (which also includes also search consultants), always leave you with the feeling of a great conversation, where both sides had the opportunity to learn something.